The setup, for what little there is, involves the unexpectedly timely realization that Isla Nublar’s long dormant volcano is actually about to blow. Thus enters the fifth Jurassic Park movie, a film aware that the nostalgia keg which gave plentifully to the last several entries in the franchise runs the risk of tapping out-so it preemptively scrapes the bottom of the barrel for narrative ideas that include exploding volcanoes and velociraptors rummaging around a haunted house like they’re Christopher Lee.
The answer is of course to embrace a narrative where there really isn’t a story, just a series of set-pieces with varying degrees of impressiveness.
How do you continue a profitable franchise when, for the story to progress, characters need to make stupid decisions? And not just some characters, or just some of their on screen decisions, but all of the characters, all the time, must make the wrong dino-chomping call. And this is the rock and the hard place Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom finds itself between for its entire run time. It’s the kind of scenario that plays less like a scene from a Spielbergian classic, such as Jurassic Park or Jaws, and more like an effectively directed and higher budgeted sequence out of Jaws 3D. He’ll shut the doors to the water tank once that submarine is safely out of harm’s way. Up by the shore, another lad who has the whiff of stockyards about him is waiting with his hand on a button. If you don’t recall, that was the water-lizard introduced by swallowing a Great White Shark whole. Beginning with a pair of meat sacks who could very well be credited as “Prime” and “Tender,” the first shot follows two poor souls piloting a tiny submarine into the aquatic pool that housed the Mosasaurus in the first Jurassic World.
Before even the opening title card, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom tells you exactly what kind of movie it is going to be.
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